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**sandra grace**

Hey, may I gently ask why men turn their heads as far away from me when they pass by on the street? I mean, goodness, it makes me feel SO ugly that they are trying to avert their gaze as far away as possible!
Don't tell me it's a shy thing. Men younger and older do it. Tell me the truth, is it just my looks? you don't know me and I need to know this, please and thank you.

songbyglory · **songbyglory** Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Posts: 230

I'm not a guy, but I want you to know how sad it made me to read this. It doesn't matter what others think or see. You are a precious gem in God's eyes, and He created you just as He wanted you. You just have to start seeing it yourself. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. It seemed that I only attracted a certain type of guy. Now that God has shown me how to love on myself, I don't even notice anything but the Christ that is in others. Learn to love yourself. Spend time doing something special just for yourself and tell yourself how beautiful and well loved you are by God, and by me. It's time to change the way you are thinking to the positive. Just trust that God knew what He was doing when He created you.

jcpack187 · **jcpack187** Joined: 01 Feb 2009 Posts: 54

so to point out what a strong majority of men are currently thinking after reading this...this question is like a woman asking a man...'do these pants make me look fat'.

there's really no good answer to that individual. However, in general for your situation i would not say its a shy thing at all. most people i interact with or pass by that i don't know i simply don't look at them. not b/c i cant look someone in the eyes, but ask yourself why would you look at someone you don't know while they're looking at me?

and for the record i know men dont look the complete opposite way...that'd hurt their necks when you're walking toward each other (which is probably the situations you speak of).

seriously if i want to look at a woman b/c i think she's attractive then she's not going to notice. why? b/c that's the way i'd prefer it. i don't want to be impolite and stare or just have a plain awkward moment.

admittedly i hate when people cant keep eye contact with me but to a stranger, what do i care if they do or don't look at me? to ask a question such as this doesn't speak to what others think about you, but how you see yourself. i would be willing to bet any guy on this site will tell you they dont lust or even so much as look at 50% of the women that pass them...and that's probably a very high guess. more over, why would you assume a stranger thinks you're unactractive? what you think others will think when they do not know you is a reflection of your inner self.

The question you should be asking here, and excuse me for being so straight forward, is do you see yourself attractive?
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Jn. 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

vixenkat_2001 · **vixenkat_2001** Joined: 08 Jan 2010 Posts: 193

haven't a clue what to tell you. i have gotten to the age and point in my life where i could really care less what people think of me. i say hi to a lot of people, look them in the eye, and just be me. if they turn away or do not acknowledge it....i could care less. i figure, when people turn away i am either just paranoid that day and not feeling self assured about myself, or have an over active imagination, or that is just the way people are. you have to get to that point where you just do not care. don't read too much into people...it won't help your self esteem. just be happy you are God's child. the only time i start worrying about what people think of me is when i get really strange looks lol...then i wonder if i have a piece of food on my face or in my teeth lol. or maybe i have toilet paper sticking outta my pants rofl...

just chill lol...who really cares what other think as long as you love yourself and God loves you.

mayflower · **mayflower** Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Posts: 446

My heart goes out to you here, and we as women all have those kind of feelings, even beauty queens, but if truth be told, it depends on what exactly attracts a man. True, men are turned on by their vision, but true Christian men are also turned on by a Godly Christian character.

Some of us want to hide our pictures because we think that no one would ever want to be my friend or take me out on a date just because of our looks (our weight, our faces, our - well you fill in the blank)

I chose to place my picture on here, but I chose a picture that only showed my face. If I were to tell you that I am medically obese, which I am, then some men probably would bypass me just because of their knowlege of this. However, I also know that I am loved by the God Most High, I know that God has given me self-confidence, self-worth, material things, and most of all, a Book, the Bible, that tells me how much He really loves me. Beauty comes from the inner part of a person. The man who looks on the "outside only" is NOT the man I want for a husband. My prayer for you is that you find that friend that you are seeking to see you as a jewel that God has placed in his heart.

Not bragging here, but a man I met on this website has taken me out several times, but I don't really think he has his mind on my weight - although our budding relationship has given me an insentive to take the weight off.

He told me just the other day, "It's important to me that a woman love God with all her heart and that it shows in her character as well as in her daily life."

I know, I'm being vulnerable here, but I want you to know that those type of men on the street don't even deserve a look from us.
God bless,

Mayflower
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God looks at the heart...how 'bout you?

grateful · **grateful** Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675

OK,... I'm a guy...I looked over your profile.

Frankly, I think tall, medium, and tiny women are awesome, but...

Are you really 6'4"+ ??

Perhaps the men passersby are awe-struck and have quickly looked away so as not to be caught with their mouths open. (that might have been me Exclamation

)
For it is very unusual to see such a tall woman.

Also, ref. your profile. I am confused.
--The profile says the region you are in is Ireland, but in a text answer you said that you are in the southern USA? ...but you didn't fill in city and state blanks.

In general, though, about eye contact with passersby,...
There are a number of factors which affect that. A couple of those factors are:
1) How a person carries themselves. ie: people with a hostile or otherwise unwelcome or perhaps somehow dangerous carriage/body-language, tend to cause onlookers to shy away.
2) A big, open smile is almost always returned by at least a smile.
3) A real or a contrived prat/joke is most always returned with a grin or laugh or a facial cue of concern.
4. Some folks have an obvious 'closed' manner from busy-ness or concentration and won't respond to much but a bump or a boom.

Sooo...On and on it may go. Lots of possibilities.
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Signed: Grateful
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Ariona · **Ariona** Joined: 29 Jan 2010 Posts: 35

Actually the situation in your post reminds me of a sun shinning, people would dare to watch sun faraway and shun it when approaching closely, mainly because your glamour scorched their pride and turned on their inferiority complex.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, next time you see the awe-struck guys, go over and tell them, fear-me-not, Mister Sunstruck. fear the ONE behind and beyond me.

**happytobehere**

It's probably the opposite. You're probably really pretty and it's intimidating. It's the truth. I do that when a pretty girl smiles back at me sometimes.

grateful · **grateful** Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675

"sandra grace", who started this thread, is no longer available to be contacted (at least by me) ...perhaps she made her profile private, but she also cannot be found via the Member Search function.
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Signed: Grateful
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