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Miss Angel

Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 3

Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:09 pm  Reply with quote

How do Christian guys feel about marrying a non-virgin?
So premarital sex is a no-no. What happens when the woman God has lead you to turns out to have given away that "gift" in a previous life marred by sin? Do you turn away? Or does the past not matter?
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Brandalf85

Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 250

Sat Jun 27, 2009 5:09 pm  Reply with quote

I think to most people, they want to marry a virgin.

Now, your question asks what if you find someone and you're interested and find out that she/he is NOT a virgin.

The first feeling one may get is one of doubt. The ideal relationship would be both virgins and the first time you have sex is together on your wedding night, or even perhaps before if you stumble.

I think it's easy to judge, but just like appearances, we have to ask ourselves if such things REALLY are important.

People make mistakes. Sometimes, sadly and tragically, it wasn't their choice. I've been with someone where that happened. I could have left, but I stayed. I knew that, had the relationship worked out, my first time with her wouldn't be hers. But I knew that what we had was far more deep than something like virginity or if they were or not.

Before you judge a person on their mistakes, remember that you aren't perfect. Also keep in mind that God has forgiven them, whatever happened. Some people aren't even Christians when these thing happen and only later realize the mistake.

In the end, if you really love that person, you will not be thinking about this and when you two finally have your wedding night, you will only be thinking of each other and what is happening then, not what happened before.
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TrON

Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 1533

Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:59 pm  Reply with quote

Re: How do Christian guys feel about marrying a non-virgin?
Miss Angel wrote:
So premarital sex is a no-no. What happens when the woman God has lead you to turns out to have given away that "gift" in a previous life marred by sin? Do you turn away? Or does the past not matter?


This seems to come up a lot as a subject (note to Lee: we need sticky subjects for the forums).

If said person has repented (truly has) then it is a non issue only to be discussed in the briefest possible terms if the relationship gets serious. Christians who are somewhat less mature in their walk my not be able to accept this (nothing wrong with that they just need to grow up a little more).
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Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow / Bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow / None has ever caught him yet, for Tom he is the master / His songs are stronger songs and his feet are faster.
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Abbaschild

Joined: 18 Jun 2009
Posts: 93

Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:49 am  Reply with quote

There are several virgin threads on here that you might want to check out. They become very heated debates sometimes. Bottom line: guys that have saved themselves for marriage tend to want a virgin. Others that may have made such mistakes themselves realize that forgiveness and redemption are crucial in the Christian walk. We come to Christ at different times in our lives and may not have held to standards of purity before knowing Him.

I don't fault people who have waited for wanting someone who has waited as well. However, there are many men and women out there who view the heart of the person as more important than a previous sin.
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ghatf10457

Joined: 17 Jun 2009
Posts: 17

Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:14 pm  Reply with quote

Re: How do Christian guys feel about marrying a non-virgin?
It really does not make a difference to me. If God can forgive why can't we do the same. For those of you out there who are waiting for that special someone my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Its the way God intended it to be and the Lord will bless you big time for waiting.
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hermione83

Joined: 02 Jan 2009
Posts: 145

Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:24 pm  Reply with quote

I think it's shocking you'd think someone who was raped and never have sex WASN'T a virgin still..
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internationalelf




Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:56 pm  Reply with quote

It isn't an issue for me
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noone

Joined: 26 Feb 2005
Posts: 3

Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:52 am  Reply with quote

"Do whatever you want."
Do you like it this way ?


Last edited by noone on Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Abbaschild

Joined: 18 Jun 2009
Posts: 93

Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:11 am  Reply with quote

Wow, wicked and naive...that's a new one for me. Should I consider it a compliment?
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ServantOfChrist

Joined: 05 Oct 2008
Posts: 4

Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:27 am  Reply with quote

Hmmm....

Am I a virgin? How can I then hurl a rock??

I cannot...I am only a lowly servant. He is the Master. He provides the guidance. I follow Him. I do not lead.

Ever.
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TrON

Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 1533

Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:10 pm  Reply with quote

Abbaschild wrote:
Wow, wicked and naive...that's a new one for me. Should I consider it a compliment?


Indeed wear it is a badge of honor.
_________________
Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow / Bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow / None has ever caught him yet, for Tom he is the master / His songs are stronger songs and his feet are faster.
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ttwuu1l1




Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:59 pm  Reply with quote

Being divorced puts the question in an entirely different light. As far as scriptural ideals are concerned, has anyone here read the book of Hosea?
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